Shave your legs before you go to a party, you never know who will ask you home.
A penny saved is……a penny saved. THINK BIGGER.
The way a man drives tells you a lot about the way he makes love.
A jar lid screwed on by a man can never be removed. Men consider acts like these tests of strength.
Fat people eat more than thin people.
Everyone hates a surprise party.
Don’t trust anyone who looks you in the eye. It’s completely unnatural for humans to peer into each other’s eyes.
People with thick hair are more likely to succeed than people with thin hair, - or at least have a jollier time.
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
Collect a few killer rebukes, such as “You’ve got low self esteem, but you’re entitled to it.”
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